Recently, I was reminded of what an important role faith plays in my life.
I don’t often talk about faith here, after all, this is a blog about crushes and relationships. But faith is one of those intrinsic things that permeates all areas of our life. And when it comes to sustaining a relationship–or surviving the end of one–there’s not much that can help more than some well worn faith.
Not Dogmatic
The faith I’m talking about isn’t necessarily connected to any particular religious or spiritual belief system. There’s no need for adhering to codified bits of right and wrong in this case. Person rules, both original and adapted from any religion of your choice can come into play, but that’s really secondary to what’s at the base of it all. More often than not, dogma just gets in the way of being honest about how you feel in any given situation… and leads to its own set of internal conflict.
The Root
Faith is that special something that exists just beyond the edge of reason. Usually, you can find some facts or anecdotal evidence to support at least some of it, but when it comes down to it, faith is just something you “know” to be true. No matter what.
Where does it come from? I’ll leave that to philosophers and theologians (at least in this blog). The simple fact is that, as humans, we are at least slightly predisposed to have faith in something–often something larger than ourselves–and that faith serves as the root of many of our beliefs and influences many of our actions.
Shaken, Not Broken
Of course, faith is not infallible. If followed blindly, it can get us into all sorts of trouble. Perhaps even worse, it can be shaken quite severely by various circumstances. That’s something I just went through and what reminded me of just how important faith is in the scheme of all this other stuff I write about.
Given the chance, though, it returns. Faith can be shaken, but, if you are patient and have been paying attention to yourself and the world around you, it is rarely broken.
Faith In…?
There are many things you can have faith in. In the context of crushes, relationships, and self-growth, the most important places to have faith are:
- In Yourself
- In Love
- In Your Partner
- In the Relationship
The first is fairly obvious. Without some level of faith in yourself, there’s not much you can accomplish. Lack of faith in yourself leaves you aimless, powerless, and, unless your very, very lucky, kind of doomed to failure… in everything.
Faith in Love is something for the truly hopeless romantic. If you’re like me, though, and find yourself regularly falling for people, then you better have some faith in Love. It’s a common thing, and often comes across as trite or hackneyed, but a firm faith in Love making anything possible will carry you through a whole lot of trouble. (Better be sure what you’re following is actually Love, though… but that’s a whole ‘nother topic.)
Faith in Your Partner is a lot like faith in yourself: if you don’t have it, there’s no way the relationship is going to work. Know deep down that everyone is capable of growth and stepping up to many challenges–even if they don’t think they can. Sometimes, just like you, they need to be reminded of how strong they actually are.
Faith in the Relationship often comes along after a few ups and downs. It’s also something that both parties in the relationship have to share. If it’s not a mutually recognized faith, there’s still a lot of work to do… or someone is ignoring facts in favor of wishful thinking. If both parties have faith in the relationship, the hard work needed to make it thrive becomes easier.
No Matter What
No matter what you believe, there’s something you have faith in. Even if it’s only faith that the world around you will continue to follow the rules science has put together over the years, that’s something you can build on. If you’re the religious or spiritual sort, faith in that higher power can be a great comfort (if nothing else) in dark times.
Mostly, though, it’s the more personal and internal bits of faith that help us keep from getting crushed when a relationship ends (or fails to materialize). It’s also that faith that helps us do what needs to be done to make things work out–or see what would be best for ourselves and those we care about most.
Faith plays a role in every aspect of our lives. To deny that is to miss out on one of the best tools we have at our disposal.
What do you have faith in? How has it helped you get through rough times?
