6. Angela (Night of the Demons I, II, III)
This is one of those surprising series of movies. The first one is high on camp, but has just enough meat to make a sequel worth it. The second was a bit more compelling (helped mostly by a slightly higher budget and some very creative story elements) and the third just went all out crazy.
Through it all, the main demonic influence is Angela (Amelia Kinkade), basically the dead sorority sister from hell. Thing is, she just keeps getting better looking as the movies go on (in both human and demonic forms). Again we have a strong (though evil) female character who can play the soft and demure role… right up until she’s ripping your throat out.
7. Satanica Pandemonium (From Dusk ‘Till Dawn)
Really, how you go wrong with Salma Hayek? She’s such a nice girl, right? Right… except in this movie where she’s the super-sexy snake dancer who really just gets off on tearing men apart–and drinking their blood.
That’s right, she’s a vampire. And not just any vampire, she’s the big bad in charge of the whole truck stop of the damned that’s been taking people (mostly men) off the road for hundreds of years.
So why is she crushable? Aside from the outright “hot!” factor, the character makes use of her (ample) assets with a sure sense of purpose that proves “sexy” can be a super power. She doesn’t even have to use any of her vampire powers to get the low life truckers and bikers at the Titty Twister to offer themselves up to her. She just has to smile and wink.
8. Elvira (Elvira, Mistress of the Dark)
Elvira has been a Halloween staple for a very long time (the movie noted above came out in 1988, and she’d already been around for a few years before that as a local TV horror hostess and go-to gal for silly, sexy, creepy stuff).
None of the channels in my corner of NY carried Elvira’s TV show (where she hosted old horror films, just like many others who came before her), so my first exposure to her was really in Mistress of the Dark. To say she’s the darkest blond you’ll ever see doesn’t even begin to describe the level of silly this character can dig into.
But, beneath that, at least in the course of the film, there’s actual growth that goes on. (Not a lot, it is, after all, a comedy.) Seeing someone self-centered and bumbling discover they actually care and can do something about it? Very sexy, very crushable. I was hooked. (Though that crush has been tarnished over the years as I learned more about how the character came to be and had a questionably bad experience with the actress at one particular convention. Such are the hazards of introducing reality into a crush, right?)
9. Drusilla (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Part of one of the greatest villain power couples ever to hit the small screen, Drusilla just owned any scene she was in. Her sing-songy, totally insane ramblings would give way to murderous and violent bursts that left many a Sunnydale resident wondering what the heck just happened as they drifted off into the great beyond.
Together with bad boy Spike, she opened the door to a whole new level of crazy for Buffy and crew… and she looked damn good doing it.
There really aren’t any redeeming qualities to be had here–she embraced her evil and barely cared about anything. Except Spike (most of the time). This one’s just a bad-idea crush… you know it’ll kill you, but it’s oh-so-temping.
10. Julie Walker (Return of the Living Dead III)
Julie didn’t mean to be bad. It’s not her fault that, while fooling around with her boyfriend in his dad’s top secret military lab she accidentally got infected and turned into a zombie. After there, she pretty much had a one track mind–BRAINS! (Note that it’s the Return of the Living Dead zombies that introduced us to the concept of zombies wanting brains… most other zombies don’t really care what part of you they’re eating.)
In order to stave off her insatiable hunger, Julie took to mutilating her own body. This, of course, made the character the poster-child for body modification, punk, goth, and just downright strange style. Between her look and her attitude, there was just something undeniably dangerous and attractive about her.
Even if getting close would lead to you getting your spine ripped out through your chest. No one ever said it was smart to pursue your crushes.
