Consistency is one of the most palpable stabilizers of a relationship.
If someone we’re involved with–be it romantically or not–is changing plans and direction a dozen or more times a day, we’re left spinning in circles trying to keep up (at best) or so frustrated we’re ready to just give up and go on our way (at worst).
Even if we don’t note it consciously, the subconscious keeps tally of missed appointments, changed plans and that oh-so-uneasy feeling of chaos and confusion exuded by the inconstant soul. Sure, they may be exciting to be around every now and then, but if it’s an all the time thing, then the bulk of the population will be a wee bit nervous around them.
Inconsistency can quickly lead to people not expecting anything more than empty promises or superficial concern from you. It can leave you alone and confused. And, generally, it can cause a whole lot more problems than opportunities–of any kind.
This isn’t to say that spontaneity doesn’t have it’s place. On the contrary, spontaneity is very important in many areas of our lives. It’s what keeps us open and available to new experiences. It’s what staves off stagnation. It’s what keeps us interesting.
But if there’s no baseline to measure it against, spontaneity just becomes so much more background noise in the constant flux of chaos in your life.
I know I’ve been inconsistent here lately. The topic I picked for this past month, sex, isn’t one I’m exceptionally skilled in talking about (let alone writing about). On top of wanting to produce good and useful bits about carnal pleasures, the rest of my world has gotten quite busy (and somewhat distracting in the arena of crushes, as I’m currently exploring a handful of new ones).
So, in an effort to return to consistency–so you can fall back into a comfortable pattern of knowing what to expect most times, and so you can be more surprised when I purposely bust out of pattern–I’m going to work a little harder to keep things flowing here.
And that’s the best we can do in any situation where we’ve become inconstant–let people know you’re aware of what’s gone on before and that you’re going to change it.
The most important step after that?
Actually following through.
