All of our past is viewed through the filter of our present.
That filter is imperfect.
Memories fade and change in unknown ways. They blend together and are reinterpreted every time we visit them. Through repitition, some bits become more vivid than other–regardless of their accuracy.
This is all doubly true when our emotional lives are involved.
Every relationship we’ve ever been in or wanted to be in swirl about us. Some shine brighter than anything else. Others leave us with cold shivers of pain or the blank void of depression.
None of it happened the way we remember.
Not exactly.
Love–that strange and undefined thing that drives us in our quest to be happy without ourselves and in the arms of others–knows no logic.
Yet our logical minds can influence it. We can choose our actions–resist obviously detrimental urges or give in and ride the lightning of wild emotion.
All of it spins together into a collage that approximates the objective reality of it all.
With changes in ourselves, our view of that collage changes. Parts that were hidden, come into view. Parts that seemed important, fade into obscurity. The overall feeling of it can change.
Underneath it all, though, one thing remains true: something happened. Something that changed us on a deep level. That helped shape who we are today.
And will continue to influence who we are tomorrow.
This is why I revel so much in rehashing past relationship. It offers insight into how I’ve grown. More importantly, it brings out the story tellers in other people and helps flesh out the tales, helping us all see how we’e all grown.
Today is Valentine’s Day–a holiday rife with fictionalized Romance and high-falutin’ expectations that are almost never quite met exactly. Through the filter of memory, as the years pass, those currently precieved failures may become successes–painful building blocks that set the stage for so many better things.
Wild emotion, tamed by reason and catalyzed by time.
This is the recipe for all of our lives.
You get out a product of what you put in and what other people add in to your experiences.
Do your best to add the best to the lives of those around you.
That’s the Love that really matters.
Today or any other day.
Happy Valentine’s Day. 🙂
